I have vivid memories of 9/11. I went to bed the night before, ready for an afternoon flight the following day to Portland. Sophomore year beckoned.

I woke up to my mom saying “we’re not going to Oregon today.” Shit, what did I do? I couldn’t possibly have done something so egregious that I wouldn’t be returning to college? Right?

Watching and re-rewatching and re-watching the planes hit the towers, the Pentagon, the ground in western Pennsylvania couldn’t prepare anyone for the violence, the hatred and the meaningless theatrics to come.

Is it necessary to demonize a fake villain to…

No Justice in Love

I got divorced ten years ago today. At the time, I thought my life was over. Obviously it was just beginning. But I nevertheless did desperate, thoughtless, silly things to try to do what I thought would save face — not get divorced — by doing absurd things — raise someone else’s child — when any of the imagined people I was doing that for didn’t exist at all and if they did, they were irrelevant.

I quickly realized that I hoped she got everything she wanted, going out the way she did. I meant it…

Will May 3, 2021 be remembered as a landmark day for Tesla, as it joins the S&P 500 ESG Index? Or will it better be remembered as the day when ESG investors realized their investment advisors were at best misleading them or at worst, completely unaware of what they were doing (or vice versa)?

In December 2020, when Tesla joined the S&P 500 Index, S&P was quick to point out that the company was not an automatic addition to the S&F 500 ESG Index:

“For this current assessment year, Tesla’s S&P DJI ESG Score was 22 out of 100, up…

I got COVID here. I had never been to Sun Valley before. A college friend of my girlfriend was getting married. They lived in Seattle, where some of the first US cases were spreading in community homes. We discussed not going, but as young, healthy Americans in a long-distance relationship who wanted to spend a weekend in the mountains, of course we went. Most friends who read that article asked if the Fresh Prince was there too. I’m sure that hurts DJ Jazzy Jeff’s feelings every time.

The following Friday — March 13 — I uncharacteristically worked from home. Mid-afternoon…

February 13 was the culmination of Goldwater and Nixon and Reagan and Bush and Trump.

Who is surprised that a leader presiding over a riot at the capitol will see no consequence? The same leader who only months earlier said “when the looting starts the shooting starts.”

If the goal of the party is to “shrink government in half…to the size where we can drown it in the bathtub” (and setting aside, for a moment, the depravity of anyone who wants to forcibly drown anything in a bathtub or any body of water), what problem does the party have with…

Maybe we shouldn’t have moved to the suburbs, destroying our health, our wealth, our planet.

Maybe we shouldn’t have gotten financially rich — though certainly not wealthy — doing work for corporations with which we didn’t agree, in environments that crushed our physical, emotional, mental and spiritual lives while eating terrible food and pretending (and believing) the things we were doing were helpful to anyone or anything when we knew the opposite to be true.

Maybe we know how bad we’ve treated those we openly claim to hate, fear the same treatment from others if the roles are reversed and…

Why play a game nearly impossible to win and that you wouldn’t want to win anyway?

Why choose sides when neither offer what is wanted, when both have failed

Why choose to fix only one side instead of both?

Why accept the failures of one side as inevitable, even good, even when those failures cause significant and often unnecessary suffering?

Why resist understanding the obvious flaws of one side simply because that side has not yet failed you?

Because that side may make you immune?

Why do we carry forward on the shoulders of the ghosts who came before?

Not just the obvious legends that inspired us but the real ghosts who loved us and tortured us.

Do they guide us because of how they rejected us?

Did I stop living one way and start living another because of the lessons I learned from those ghosts?

Am I haunted by what they wanted that I could not or would not provide? The things I promised I could offer then did not?

Am I haunted because they reminded me of the way I failed them?

Did I fail them because of what I couldn’t know about them?

Or because they knew I was failing myself?

“People are tired”

“People are tired,” she said. “It doesn’t seem to matter what we do.”

“We are fed up. There are so many people fed up with how crooked it is,” she said. “I really don’t have respect for our Congress anymore. They deep-sixed the president. It’s the first time in history I’ve seen one’s own party treat their president the way they did — it’s shameful.”

With what are you fed up?

From what are you tired?

How can I listen to an allegation without evidence?

What should I hear from a rumor without source?

How can I…

What did President Trump accomplish that was uniquely “Trump” that any other Republican President wouldn’t have also achieved under similar circumstances? Or, what is the “Trumpism” that will persist after he leaves office?

  • Any Republican president would have appointed conservative judges
  • Any Republican president would have sought tax cuts
  • Any Republican president would have cut regulations (and probably more competently)
  • Any Republican president would have botched federal response to COVID or any major disaster (see Reagan response to HIV / AIDS, Bush response to Hurricane Katrina)

What about some of President Trump’s major campaign promises? Did he deliver?

Imperfect Exchange

Even in darkness, our eyes adjust to the light

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